3 Important Reasons That SUP is Superior to Kayaking
According to a recently conducted straw poll here at Glide headquarters - 90% of people say SUP is superior to kayaking. It would have been 100% but one guy in the shipping department treated this survey like it was a joke and voted “kayak”. Hilarious, Dale.
The SUP vs Kayak schism has reverberated through American society since the infamous 1996 “Kincaid Argument” whereby Tampa kayaker, Chad Kincaid, ignited a squabble after directing a cussword-laced SUP dis in the direction of paddle board enthusiast, Danny “Bill” Baker, also from Tampa.
According to court filings – tensions escalated quickly, ultimately touching off a brouhaha that degenerated into hair pulling.
Twenty five years have since passed and yet the debate rages on. Information gleaned from our exit polling data indicates that the 3 main reasons SUP dominates Kayaking are as follows:
1) You don’t have to “roll” a SUP in order to survive
If you capsize on a SUP board chances are you’ll live to tell the tale. In contrast, when capsized on a kayak you will be required to negotiate an extremely technical “roll” to survive and enjoy the remainder of your outing.
This is not to say that “rolling” a SUP is an impossibility.
Glide now offers kayak seat with our inflatable paddle boards so in theory you could execute this maneuver on a SUP. Or you could stand up. Imagine that. On a kayak you have no choice but to master this practically impossible skill in order to proceed with your existence.
Here is a tutorial for how to attach the Kayak Seat to your SUP.
2) SUP creates the illusion that you are a surfer
When seen paddling a kayak you are broadcasting to the world that you lack the game to be a surfer. Plus, kayaks look nothing like surfboards. By contrast, 91% of Americans are unable to differentiate a paddleboard from a surfboard.
This number increases to a stunning 99% when boards are strapped to the roof of a car. Once at the beach, especially while carrying your board across the sand to the ocean, the assumption by all who see you is that you are probably a world-class surfer.
Once you breakout your paddle and leave shore in a standing position a still impressive 82% of beach goers will remain impressed by your athleticism.
3) Dogs hate kayaks
If you want to piss your dog off, buy a kayak. Compare this to the tail-wagging euphoria your loyal companion will experience upon the unveiling of the family’s new SUP board.
Dogs are sentient beings meaning they know instinctively that kayaks are inferior to paddleboards. Not to get overly scientific but dogs are pack animals that can only truly thrive when being dominated mercilessly by an alpha figure.
On a SUP board the dog’s beloved alpha towers over her or him like some golden God. While stuffed miserably in the cockpit of a kayak alongside its crouched owner – the poor dog becomes confused in the sheer absence of social hierarchy.
All that being said, we love kayaking….just having some fun here.
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